Last night at work an interesting conversations was had. In light of the book that Dave and I just finished reading, it was ironic that the conversation was about adoption. I’ll give a brief synopsis of the conversation. One girl was talking about how a friend of hers had a baby by hiring a surrogate and buying eggs. I was shocked at this, and asked why they didn’t just adopt? Apparently, for this couple, the “genetics thing” was very important to them and so, since the husband’s sperm was used and eggs were chosen that resembled the mother’s traits, this child was ‘theirs’. They wanted to know the child came from “good breeding” and would ‘look like them’.
Further to this, we got talking about adoption and someone said, “you can’t even get normal, healthy kids anymore, they are all the spawn of crack heads”. Another girl, who was adopted (how very interesting) was a bit offended at this, but someone else quickly said, “well, you know, back 20 years ago it was mostly teenage girls that got knocked up that gave their kids up for adoption, but now it’s only the crack heads.” I thought to myself, “ya that may be because of the prevalence of abortion!”, but I will leave that topic for another rant.
Anyhow, the conversation then went on to talk about international adoption and someone said, “but, you can’t even get normal kids that way either. They are all thrown into a cramped building like a chicken coop and then they have ‘bonding issues’ and will cling to anyone who even touches them”.
ARE YOU SERIOUS??? I was utterly appalled!! Are we so arrogant that our kids have to be perfect? That they have to be lined up like little trophies in our lives to show others how “normal” and “healthy” they are and how this apparently makes us successful parents??? Don’t kids who have “crack head moms” or “bonding issues” or “unknown genetic breeding” deserve just as much love?? Ugh, how God’s heart must absolutely break at our rotting, stinking hearts.
I have to admit, I would hope for a ‘normal, healthy’ kid too. You’ve heard it many times I’m sure. “what sex are you hoping for?” “oh, it doesn’t really matter, as long as they’re healthy, that’s the most important thing”. Well, I would challenge myself and you…what if the child isn’t healthy? What if they’re not ‘normal’? Would you still love them and accept them? Are they any less worthy?
I have to chide myself. I didn’t open my mouth and voice my opinions. In retrospect, I wish I had. I was scared, scared of rejection by my peers. Yet another idol, another issue of selfish pride. I hope I will get another chance and that I will open my mouth so that maybe someone somewhere will catch a glimpse of God’s deep, vast, rich, unconditional love for the life of children who are rejected by man. And I can only pray that there will be people out there who would be willing, even joyful, in taking these kids into their homes, in loving them just as they are.
