This is the second of three blog posts that detail our adoption journey (Part 1 is here). We have tried to answer a lot of the questions that most people have asked regarding the process and why we chose to adopt. If you have any further questions, please leave them as a comment below and we’ll have a fourth post to answer those. Questions pertaining to Anaya’s birth family can’t be answered due to confidentiality.
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In Alberta there are only a few adoption agencies-Adoption Options, Adoption by Choice and Christian Adoption Services are the main ones. I made some phone calls and began filling out an application. One nice summer day, we were at a friends place for a BBQ where we began talking about the adoption process. Our friend then told us about a program that stirred in us great excitement…a program called ‘Foster-to-Adopt’ through Alberta Children’s Services. We were intrigued and so we attended an information session at the end of August. We learned that the children (usually infants) were apprehended from their parents for various reasons-alcohol and drug abuse, known inability to care for their children (often multiple pregnancies without custody of any of the children), mental disorders, etc. Such a child would be placed in your home as a ‘foster’ child while permanent guardianship (PGO) was requested from a judge. We were told it could take up to a year for this to happen and there was a legal risk, which meant that a judge could decide at that time to give the child back to the birth parent(s). If the PGO is approved, you move on to adopt the child. The idea is to promote permanency and prevent children from bouncing around between homes. As well, we were told that very few children are ‘taken back’. Becoming a part of the program meant that we had to be willing to accept that risk, as well as to accept the fact that the child would have some ‘issue’ such as FASD, behavior/learning problems, drug withdrawal, family history of mental illness, abuse, etc. Perhaps it was God’s previous preparation of our hearts or perhaps it was something else, but we came home after that information night very excited. This was the right program for us.
You may think we were crazy to accept the legal risk, or you may have a hard time understanding why we WANTED a child with ‘special needs’. I’ve written about it before, but I guess I just feel that we in North America have become far too demanding when it comes to kids. We demand from God when we don’t want kids and then we demand from Him that He give us some. Next, we demand that they be ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’. Just look at all of the possible prenatal testing, with many results leading to abortions. Many people aren’t interested in having an ‘abnormal’ child. They want their children to be ‘successful’-beautiful, smart, famous, whatever! For us, however, we have felt strongly that God does not discriminate. He loves each one equally. Christ died for all, that ALL might become a part of His family. I guess we felt that He loves these little ones just as much as any other and we wanted to be able to give at least one child the love they so deserve.
We had an intake meeting in early September and began filling in paperwork. We had to do a criminal record check, child intervention check, general medical exam, fill out a long survey about our family history, and get references. After about a month we were able to move on to the next step. We enrolled in a one-month course in November (on weekends) called Orientation to Caregiver Training. It’s designed to allow you to better understand what types of kids are in the social services system and begin to show you how to raise and love them. Next was our home study. A social worker came to our house three times for 3 or 4 hours each time and asked us every question imaginable about our upbringing, our values, interests, family life, marriage, work, school, reasons for being in the program, etc. We had a really nice social worker and so went through this stage with ease. The same week that we completed the home study, we finally had an appointment with the fertility clinic-right before Christmas on Dec. 22.
How were we feeling about fertility treatment at this stage? Uncertain, but still interested. We’ve felt all along that if we are able to conceive, great, but if not, that’s ok too. So, we went to the appointment with open minds. We’d done blood tests, an ultrasound, etc. previously, but they re-ordered those tests, plus a few more.
